Tuesday, June 29, 2010

FormSpring and Body Issues

I received this question in my FormSpring today upon getting home from work. I answered in a very, very, very long (and probably totally redundant) answer, but I wanted to share the question and answer with you all and see how you would answer it. (Even if you aren't a size 12 :P).

QUESTION: "i think you give inspiration to girls who arent stick thin; however, i am a size 12 and i have trouble finding guys to overlook my size and not think im fat or not datable, so in that sense im jealous that you have mike. i wish i could find my mike!"
MY ANSWER: well thanks, but first and foremost, a guy should never have to "overlook" your size! that's ridiculous! you are YOU! plain and simple! you are NOT the number on the tag of your jeans! if a guy won't date you simply because you're not a 2 or 4 or a whatever, then frankly, who gives a hoot! that guy obviously isn't worth his weight in dog poop anyhow! 
Yes, mike is amazing. absolutely. he's my prince charming, but not because he lowered his standards to date me (whoever has made you think that being a size 12 makes you unworthy of a date is absolutely looney!). i am NOT the tag on the dress i just bought. i am not the tag on the jeans i no longer wear. i'm not even the red hair and the tattoos that cover my body... i'm kaelah. i'm the personality inside of this body. i'm the intelligence inside of my brain.  
If you wear your size/weight on your shoulders, THAT is when guys will start to pass you up. they'll say "nah, no thanks" because you're so bogged down on yourself... you can't see the big picture. be proud of who you are. wear things that flatter your body, no matter if you're 100 pounds or 250! find comfort in your body because i honestly believe it when they say that no one can love you until you love yourself! 
Girls that overanalyze everything, down to the single tenth of a pound on the scale, are the kinds of girls guys don't want to bother with. they're too much. they're too much "me me me". instead, celebrate you as an individual, and celebrate the both of you as a couple. no one wants to be stuck around a negative nancy all the time!
You WILL find your mike. but first you need to find YOU. :) <3
Also, you can't wait for someone to come around and make you feel good about yourself. believe me. there are more people out there that want to bring you down more than anything, but you can't let them. you can't wait for a fella to come knocking on your door and rave over how gorgeous you are... until YOU make YOURSELF feel gorgeous. i love mike, yes. and i love that mike thinks i'm the most beautiful girl to walk the land even on days where i feel like absolute crap.... but guess what, even if i didnt have mike.. i'd feel the same way about myself. i love myself with or without a boyfriend, and you should too. 
We often get so caught up in being our own worst critic that we forget to also be our own biggest fan. <3


With that being said, where do you stand on this issue? Is being "chubby" or "fat" or a "size 12" a proper way to toss someone from a potential dating pool? Just curious. I get questions like this all the time, so I thought I'd open it up and see what y'all had to say. How would you answer this question? 

Off to see a movie with Liz! I'll be back tonight!


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