(this is my drunk face... even though i dont even drink alcohol haha)
so my post begins... last night I ended my post by saying there was a bit of controversy and drama in my formspring last night (oh, the love!) A lovely person brought it to my attention that a girl (whom I've never met) has been saying mean and malicious things about me on her tumblr/myspace/etc. Well well well... surprise surprise! The world is full of less-than-stellar people, and this girl in particular has already taken it upon herself to make herself look like a fool on many occasions. Basically, it merely boils down to this... a pro-anorexia girl (who is very open about the situation) is lurking my myspace/blog/twitter and posting on the happenings. Apparently she lurked my twitter, saw a twitpic I had posted, and wrote a tumblr post saying I was looking especially "chunky" blah blah blah. The Gist: An anorexic girl called me fat. Woe is me! My world is ending!... well... not quite. I've never met this girl in my life... she's merely friends with people I actually still never knew in high school. I won't drag it out and explain how I, even though I'm "chunky", still manage to be incredibly successful in my life, but she, the "anorexic", dropped out of college, worked in fast food, etc etc etc. Whatever. Let's not be petty, right?
The moral of the story is this: I don't care. I'm not hurt by the things she said. Apparently this surprised a lot of my FormSpring followers because I think they expected me to lash out in anger and revenge. So one girl doesn't like me.... so one girl thinks I'm fat... so what. I like me. I like my body. Mike LOVES my body. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm successful. Why on earth would one little girl make me question that? The answer: She wont. She doesnt. She isnt. :) The truly disturbing part is that even at my current weight, I'm happy with myself. She's starving/purging and still hating herself. Obviously that has to be the issue, right? I can't imagine why anyone would do that to themselves (Yes, I understand it's a disease, and I respect that... But just because you're unhappy with YOU doesnt mean you should project that onto others).
Anyway, enough about her. She wanted her fifteen minutes of fame and she got it. Congratulations Alaina. You got your time in the limelight. You knew I had a following so you tried to use that to your advantage to get publicity.. you finally did... now thats all you'll ever get from me. :) Go you!
Now turning the post to the actual subject at hand: Why do so many girls find it easy to hate themselves? I used to talk a lot of trash in high school (don't most girls?!)... But I wasn't happy with "me" then... I was self-conscious, awkward, weird.... even though I had a ton of friends, played sports, was voted for several superlatives, was involved with so many school activities, and practically ran that place... I was so so so self conscious. So what'd I do? I'd rag on other girls just to make myself feel better. That was the "cool" thing to do. I was given a new opportunity when I graduated high school and moved away for college... I was able to portray myself in a new light... These new people hadn't met me, they didn't know I used to be a "mean girl".. I could be anyone... Well, I just wanted to be me... but the nice me. I found myself over the past 4 years and I've been able to come to terms with a lot of things...
1) No, I'm not the skinniest girl alive... well I'll be damned! It doesn't make me a bad person... I still have a lot of friends... Did someone forget to inform me that chubby is a disease?! How silly! So I'm not super skinny... big deal... I managed to have a boyfriend for 3 years, and more recently an even better one (see what I did there? :P)... Never once has he complained about my body. When I complain, he praises it. I know I don't have to be self-conscious around him. I managed to be chosen by Seventeen magazine as one of the 17 Best Dressed Girls in America... So apparently I can dress for my shape fairly well... I managed to be chosen Best Dressed and Most Likely to be Famous my Senior year of high school.... I managed to snag a dream internship (2 years in a row) and live in NYC on my own... I've been able to accomplish SO much... and guess what?!?! I WAS CHUBBY FOR ALL OF IT! Holy balls, it's possible y'all! :)
So much focus is put on weight for girls (and guys) today. It's ludicrous! People stop focusing on what a person is capable of and start focusing on the size on the tag of the clothing you're wearing. Even the most recent Fashion Week is exclaiming how the sample size needs to be resized! Size 2 and 4 models are fat!
I'd have all the same talents and abilities I do now if I starved myself down to skin and bones and lost 40 pounds so I'd be equivalent to her. Except then I'd be buying into the hype and depriving myself of things I like to do/eat haha Not interested! Plus, I get to wear things that look cute on MY body style... stuff that wouldn't necessarily look good on a lanky frame.
I just don't understand why people can't be happy with their bodies... This is what you have. Treat it well. Don't deprive yourself/it of things you need/like... but don't overindulge and shove it full of crap, either. Treat it with respect and you'll get the most out of it.
I love my body for what it does for me. I can run, jump, swim, skip, sleep, eat, breath.... I get to live my life daily.. Something that so many of us take for granted. Even if I were to starve myself down to skin and bones, I'm probably still going to be sitting at a size 6 or 8, just because I have those child-bearing hips that my Mama so graciously passed down to me. I enjoy going to the gym and working out, but if I want to eat a cupcake, well by gosh golly you bet I'm going to eat a cupcake!
I guess I've ranted on long enough.. I just wanted to bring it to everyone's curious minds that things like this girl do not bother me... She's going to hate me whether I'm fat or not... just because thats the kind of person she is. We've all encountered them. The important thing to remember is that people like her dont run your life... We've all got wonderful people around us that love us for who we are.. they're the ones whose opinions we need to listen to. Why would I care what she thinks of me if the person I crawl in bed with every night thinks I'm the most gorgeous thing to walk the earth? Exactly. And I'm so so very lucky to have that.
Even when you're in doubt with your body, just remember it's a piece of genius! The things it does for you and the things it allows you to do... it's incredible. Treat it with respect and adore it. If you think you're too round or too thin, do something about it if it bothers you! But otherwise, dress for your shape! This is the single most important thing! Dress. For. Your. Shape! The wrong piece of clothing can make a 110 pound girl look like she's 140... but in the same regard, the right piece of clothing can flatter a 140 pound frame and make you look 10 pounds lighter!
Sorry for my ridiiicccculously long post, but I wanted to get it out of the way early on so Mike and I can go enjoy our day and I can blog again tonight. (Didn't want to overload your dashboards with a bunch of hullabaloo!)
I hope you all have a magical Sunday!