(850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
(904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
(850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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(315): Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
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(847): Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
(708): We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
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(262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
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(217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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(570): can you come get me at the bar
(301): ill be there in 10 min
(570): can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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(850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
(1-850): that makes sense
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(912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
(1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
(912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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(314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
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(501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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(404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
------
(817): youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
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(503): after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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(434): KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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(via Texts From Last Night)
sometimes i wish my life could be this interesting. hahaha. i was definitely catching up on the site (since i hadnt read it in 5+ months) while in holistic wellness class this morning. we were having a discussion about the conscious mind, etc, and i couldnt help but burst out in laughter a few times. oops!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Vegan Website Interface Survey.
please take this survey about the vegan website i'm currently designing. i'd really appreciate it & maybe even bake you vegan muffins!
http://tinyurl.com/ybznc4r
http://tinyurl.com/ybznc4r
Monday, September 28, 2009
barnes & noble.
today i came home from class and painted, painted, painted, then tonight i went to barnes and noble in hopes of completing some holistic wellness "homework" (i did!) and gathering a few reading materials. it was a nice little break from the day and it felt so good to just relax. i bought a few new books, a journal, and a couple magazines. my heart races when i read BUST and i know that it's where i'm supposed to be. May cannot come soon enough so that i may be sitting in my little chair at my little intern table back on lower 5th avenue. the design, the aesthetics, the content, the soul and core of that magazine, they're incredible. but not even remotely as incredible as the lovely ladies that slave over it. they are few but they are mighty. i'd love to join their ranks one day. anywhoo, i also picked up "work in progress: an unfinished woman's guide to grace" by kristin armstrong. i already read 60+ pages of it in the store. brilliant! such an uplifting book on how to be a graceful christian woman. i do feel as though its a bit narcissistic at times, but its a good read thus far. i got "The Message: Solo Remix", too. its labeled as "An Uncommon Devotional" and its just a new way to look at the Bible. i've read several days worth of stuff and its a fresh perspective. andddd then I got a new journal for my purse with the ever so perfect quote "Keep Calm and Carry On". i do love my little black moleskin that i keep but this can serve for more photographic evidence....
after i got home i played with georgia, caught up on some blogs, then JamieSky (my dear dear old friend) called and i caught up with him for awhile. hopefully i'll be seeing him on wednesday! as we get tattooed by the same guy. and now i'm much overdue for bed but i'd rather journal and paint and doodle. i have a lot of homework i actually need to do before classes tomorrow... oh my. sleepy time soon!
after i got home i played with georgia, caught up on some blogs, then JamieSky (my dear dear old friend) called and i caught up with him for awhile. hopefully i'll be seeing him on wednesday! as we get tattooed by the same guy. and now i'm much overdue for bed but i'd rather journal and paint and doodle. i have a lot of homework i actually need to do before classes tomorrow... oh my. sleepy time soon!
dear friends...
dear friends,
i'm going to do something that i've done on my livejournal once before. i'm going to invite you to open up to me, about anything, about everything. you can email me as anonymous, you can email me with your real address. either way. i know how important it is to have someone you can open up to. someone to relate to and someone you can be totally honest with. you don't have to tell me who you are if you don't feel comfortable. lay your worries out on me. i can't promise you the best advice, but i can promise you someone to read your words and try to empathize, sympathize and be a sounding board for anything your mind can conjure up. i've received so so so many wonderful emails from guys and girls from all over. many having to do with relationship woes (we all have them!), school stresses or just life in general. maybe you just need someone to carry on a fun conversation with. either way, i'm inviting you to join me.
now, life is a little hectic and crazy at the moment, and sometimes it can take me a day or two to respond, but sometimes receiving a personal little something in your inbox, from strangers and friends alike, can really brighten your day. maybe you just need to know you're not alone in a situation.
if you feel like you need someone to talk to or just vent to, feel free to email me at kaelahbee (at) gmail (dot) com. i'm more than willing to listen.
xo
ps; hello autumn. i forget just how breathtaking you are until you roll around each year.
joe purdy.
i love this man. his voice, his lyrics, everything.
this is "MISS ME"...
other suggested songs to listen to:
- Why Do I?
- California Girl
- Mary Mae & Bobby (makes me cry every time)
-------
Some movie star told you this ain't where it's at.
So you packed your bags and one night you headed out.
Said, these small town blues got you going insane
gone into the city, gonna change your name
and you never look back at where you came
swore you're never gonna be the same.
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
You're a big girl now, got your big shoes
and you're running around with big girl blues
and I know you don't doubt yourself anymore
no, when you feel like leaving, walk out the door
and I bet you ain't got nothin left to learn
it's better that way cause you never get burned
and you try not to think about what might have been
cause you know this town is just sink or swim
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Well the last time I saw you were waving goodbye
from the back of the train with a tear in your eye.
Now I hear you're in love with some big city man
and together you're making your big city plans
and you hope he don't find out about who you are
that we used to catch fireflies in mason jars
and we used to go down to the county fair
and we listened to blue grass in summer air
and we danced all night as the rain came down
and you held my hand as we slept on the ground
and we wrote our names in the old oak wood
I guess some things don't work out like they should.
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me? yeah...
Do you miss me?
So you packed your bags and one night you headed out.
Said, these small town blues got you going insane
gone into the city, gonna change your name
and you never look back at where you came
swore you're never gonna be the same.
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
You're a big girl now, got your big shoes
and you're running around with big girl blues
and I know you don't doubt yourself anymore
no, when you feel like leaving, walk out the door
and I bet you ain't got nothin left to learn
it's better that way cause you never get burned
and you try not to think about what might have been
cause you know this town is just sink or swim
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Well the last time I saw you were waving goodbye
from the back of the train with a tear in your eye.
Now I hear you're in love with some big city man
and together you're making your big city plans
and you hope he don't find out about who you are
that we used to catch fireflies in mason jars
and we used to go down to the county fair
and we listened to blue grass in summer air
and we danced all night as the rain came down
and you held my hand as we slept on the ground
and we wrote our names in the old oak wood
I guess some things don't work out like they should.
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me?
Do you miss me? yeah...
Do you miss me?
lasts.
If you pick me a flower, I’ll wear it in my hair. I’ll stash little notes for you where you least expect them. I don’t have many firsts left.. but I’d like someone who I could offer all of my lasts. We’ll make history together. I’ll wait for you even if you’re late – and I won’t complain about it. Kindness to cashiers, valets, waiters and maddeningly slow postal clerks who would try the patience of Gandhi is a must. I will feel safe and most at peace in your arms. When you’re counting aloud, I will try and mess you up. I find you magically delicious. I will let you be right when it doesn’t really matter. I’ll giggle when you show off and I know it’s just for me. I’ll hold your coffee while you drive. I can build a fire without burning the house down. If you wash the car with me – I promise to wear a white t-shirt for you. I‘ll hide around corners and try to scare you in the middle of the night.. of course, I’ll end up scaring myself and you’ll have to calm me down. I can change a flat tire and my own oil. It’s the simple things you do that make me swoon the most. I love it when you sing to me. I’ll make you mickey mouse pancakes. Sleeping in has a whole new meaning now that we’re doing it together. I’ll cover you up and kiss your forehead when you fall asleep watching tv. I won’t swear around your family or make you wear silly sweaters at my family’s during Christmas. I’ll grant you three wishes. I’ll make you laugh. I’ll stare in wonder with you at that hot chick with the great rack. I will marvel at your strength. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick. I give a kick ass massage. I think it’s hot when you come home all dirty from playing or working hard. My heart will skip every time you walk through the door. My kisses will take your breath away – seriously. I’ll giggle if you leave your socks on in bed. My quirks and oddities have been deemed ‘adorable’ and I will love you more everyday for all of yours. I’ll hold you when you need it. I will give you space when you need it. I will let you be you. You’ll sleep better when I’m next to you. I’ll thank you every time you open a door for me. I’ll never give you shit in front of your friends. I won’t ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch and a passionate kiss. We can watch your movie first. I’ll clean the house perfectly every time your mom comes by. I like horror movies only when you’re with me and only as long as you hold me close. I don’t litter. I love when you pull me down to sit on your lap. I love it when you lay your head on my chest in bed. I can be ready (shower and all) in half an hour. I’ll look cute as hell in your shirt in the morning. I can balance a checkbook. I can never turn down a challenge. I’ll fit perfectly in your arms. I’ll understand if you get jealous – and do my best to show you that you have no reason. Hand-written love notes will get you laid every time. I can totally keep a secret. I’m pretty damn funny and will do anything to make you laugh. You will always look hot to me in the morning. I think it’s cute when you eat off my plate. When you’re sleeping, I’ll try to stay quiet. I’ll call when I say I will. Treat me like a woman and I’ll treat you like a man. To clarify: I’m not looking for a fix-up project, or anything of that sort. I’m looking for a man who quite simply adds something extraordinary and special to my life. And I to him. A fair exchange, an amazing mind, body and soul connection and a place to build something magnificent.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry but i just find it absolutely necessary to reiterate this. to post it again, for my own benefit. because apparently somewhere in the middle of the past two days, i've forgotten it. i've forgotten that I DESERVE BETTER. and you know what, ALL OF YOU DESERVE BETTER. do not ever settle.
--------------
--------------
Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.
The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.
We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.
Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.
Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.
This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.
This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.
This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)
Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”
The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.
We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.
Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.
Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.
This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.
Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.
Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.
Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.
One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.
rollercoaster.
it's amazing to feel your heart in this state. it's no longer in a state of limbo; just trying to regain it's stable footing. to feel it beat so hard. it's one of those nights where you find it in your throat. rendering you utterly useless in the way of speech. you can't say anything. but just like a rollercoaster, you ascend to the peak, you crash down in a rush, but you always level out. the ride has to level before you can exit. life will pick itself up again and you'll love with more ferocity than you've ever know. and best of all, this time it will be real. i'm over the quick turns, the whiplash, the twists, the loops, being suspended in the air with absolutely no control. i'm sick. i'm nauseous. i'm worn out.
your ride has ended. please unbuckle and exit to your left.
~quotes
In the space between yes and no, there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; its the legroom for the lies you’ll tell yourself in the future.
— Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
------
For the rest of my life, whenever the sky’s gray, I’ll remember that the blue’s still there above the clouds, and the sun’s still shining.
— Pauline Fisk, The Mrs. Marriage Project
------
i kept the ring that you had given me although it's symbol was lost. switched from left hand to the right. a reminder of things done, not done, to do, not to do ever again. - kurt halsey
------
There is a big difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and what we are meant for.
------
If winning is getting up one more time than you fall down. If strength is more than muscle. If time teaches us patience. And knowledge gives us grace.
Then we will go forward. Remembering the past. But never yearning for it.
There is so much more to look forward to.
------
"but i know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet / someday you will be loved."
-Death Cab For Cutie
------
"There comes a time when you realize you've just been chasing ghosts. That the way things once were no longer exists." -edited to add. posted by Grant in the comments.
------
I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about her for 23 hours and I come back to there’s something about her, I can’t stay away from. Something about her, that makes me want to love her.
— ER
-------
that last one REALLY gets me.
— Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart
------
For the rest of my life, whenever the sky’s gray, I’ll remember that the blue’s still there above the clouds, and the sun’s still shining.
— Pauline Fisk, The Mrs. Marriage Project
------
i kept the ring that you had given me although it's symbol was lost. switched from left hand to the right. a reminder of things done, not done, to do, not to do ever again. - kurt halsey
------
There is a big difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and what we are meant for.
------
If winning is getting up one more time than you fall down. If strength is more than muscle. If time teaches us patience. And knowledge gives us grace.
Then we will go forward. Remembering the past. But never yearning for it.
There is so much more to look forward to.
------
"but i know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet / someday you will be loved."
-Death Cab For Cutie
------
"There comes a time when you realize you've just been chasing ghosts. That the way things once were no longer exists." -edited to add. posted by Grant in the comments.
------
I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about her for 23 hours and I come back to there’s something about her, I can’t stay away from. Something about her, that makes me want to love her.
— ER
-------
that last one REALLY gets me.
alright.
We’re so different. We’re hot and cold, fire and water. I’m loud, you’re quiet. I talk, you listen. I’m crazy, you’re sane, but that’s why this works… You fill in my missing pieces and I complete you, and I guess that’s why, despite the questions and the challenges, I still believe in us and I still believe in this… and as long as we have each other, I think we’ll be alright.
— Katrina Berning
music monday.
just a few hours early. heres what i've been streaming on repeat this week. mostly because they pertain to my situation right now...
Joe Purdy - California Girl (Lyrics HERE!)
Missy Higgins - Where I Stood (Lyrics HERE!)
The Avett Brothers - January Wedding (Lyrics HERE!)
Maria Taylor - Clean Getaway (Lyrics HERE!)
----
today i acquired:
All of Maria Taylor's discography
All of We Are Scientist's discography
and season 2 soundtrack to Flight Of The Conchords.
sweet titties!
xoxo
Joe Purdy - California Girl (Lyrics HERE!)
Missy Higgins - Where I Stood (Lyrics HERE!)
The Avett Brothers - January Wedding (Lyrics HERE!)
Maria Taylor - Clean Getaway (Lyrics HERE!)
----
today i acquired:
All of Maria Taylor's discography
All of We Are Scientist's discography
and season 2 soundtrack to Flight Of The Conchords.
sweet titties!
xoxo
missy higgins.
everything missy higgins does is amazing.
-----
"Going North"
I wanna dance the tango with chance
I wanna ride on the wire
'cos nothing gets done with dust in your gun
And nobody respects a liar
So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore
Every boundary and every door
Yeah I'm going north
I wanna know where children would go
If they never learned to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool
So goodbye for a while
I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north
Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need
Yeah I'm going north
-----
"Going North"
I wanna dance the tango with chance
I wanna ride on the wire
'cos nothing gets done with dust in your gun
And nobody respects a liar
So goodbye for a while I'm off to explore
Every boundary and every door
Yeah I'm going north
I wanna know where children would go
If they never learned to be cool
Cos nothing's achieved when pushed up a sleeve
Till nobody thinks you're a fool
So goodbye for a while
I'm out to learn more
About who I really was before
Yeah I'm going north
Up where the hunted hide with ease
Under the arms of eye-less trees
Up where the answers fall like leaves
Oh and your love is all I need
Yeah I'm going north
release.
"If winning is getting up one more time than you fall down. If strength is more than muscle. If time teaches us patience. And knowledge gives us grace. Then we will go forward. Remembering the past. But never yearning for it. There is so much more to look forward to."
and with this, i release you.
and with this, i release you.
update!
i haven't updated since like 2am friday morning so it's overdue, i apologize! this weekend was jam packed with things i don't even care to remember. i worked friday and saturday night at the bar and last night proved to be so incredibly dramatic. a lot of sly, not-so-good things have been going on so i've just been told to "watch my back"... seems as though someone who is also employed there is trying to get my job and has been accusing me of such outlandish things... its a really sucky situation because we're all such good friends, but i guess those are the ones that get ya. please keep your fingers crossed for me! i dont want to lose my job over something that is so totally not true. hmph. i used this weekend to really really catch up on my sleep. then yesterday i ventured up to hendersonville to get tattooed. it too was much overdue. jason worked on my sleeve for 3 hours and boy oh boy... we saved all the painful stuff for the end. nothing but blackwork on the inside of my arm, back of my armpit and the back of my elbow. good gracious i was sore! i got really swollen and i bruised incredibly bad, too. just gotta detail over the portrait once more and color in the frame then we're done with the top half! he's going to have my forearm drawn out on wednesday and if i like what he's done, we're going to lay out and outline the entire forearm. oh my oh my! so excited.
i worked with my arm bandaged up for most of hte night then i cleaned it and worked without. i was hurting by the end of the shift but all went well. today i woke up and ventured over to walmart and kicked it with bryan on the clock for a bit. then i cooked him lunch so we could eat out on the back deck and hang out. i do love him so so so much. he's hands down my best guy friend on the planet and i love that we're so close! :D makes me happy. i had plans to hang out with my friend jeffrey today but a bunch of crap came up and i have to be gone by 7 so i didnt want him to drive all the way from east nashville to only hang out for an hour. so we shall hang out tomorrow instead! tonight i'm going to CJ's work party at mellow mushroom downtown with him. apparently theres a Sublime tribute band. amazing! hahaha im sure it'll be fun. then afterwards Bry and i are going to kick it and maybe watch a zombie movie, have a few drinks, etc. Craig just mentioned a show at the 5 spot and it looks good, wish i could go, but alas, i have other plans so i had to say no :( we don't get to hang out enough but whatever whateverrrrr.
this is way too long. no one is ever going to read this so im ending it here. cool! :D
i worked with my arm bandaged up for most of hte night then i cleaned it and worked without. i was hurting by the end of the shift but all went well. today i woke up and ventured over to walmart and kicked it with bryan on the clock for a bit. then i cooked him lunch so we could eat out on the back deck and hang out. i do love him so so so much. he's hands down my best guy friend on the planet and i love that we're so close! :D makes me happy. i had plans to hang out with my friend jeffrey today but a bunch of crap came up and i have to be gone by 7 so i didnt want him to drive all the way from east nashville to only hang out for an hour. so we shall hang out tomorrow instead! tonight i'm going to CJ's work party at mellow mushroom downtown with him. apparently theres a Sublime tribute band. amazing! hahaha im sure it'll be fun. then afterwards Bry and i are going to kick it and maybe watch a zombie movie, have a few drinks, etc. Craig just mentioned a show at the 5 spot and it looks good, wish i could go, but alas, i have other plans so i had to say no :( we don't get to hang out enough but whatever whateverrrrr.
this is way too long. no one is ever going to read this so im ending it here. cool! :D
Thursday, September 24, 2009
the wooden sky.
I just purchased The Wooden Sky's latest album "If I Don't Come Home You'll Know I'm Gone" and good golly it's amazing. you just do not understand my love for this band. love love love. and still, my favorite song remains "Something hiding for us in the night"... i highly suggest you go over to their myspace and give it a listen and buy the album on itunes or at your local shop. it's really something you should have in your collection. it gives me chills.
i should really really be asleep by now. by the way, we should be friends on LastFM. i dont really have any... but still :) Click HERE to befriend me and peep my tunes.
the good life.
“ It’s laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn’t. It’s the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you. It’s being touched by hands that aren’t your own. It’s the thrill of an escape that almost wasn’t. It’s the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time. It’s helping a friend find something they lost. It’s a smile, a joke, a song. It’s what someone does that they like doing. It’s what someone does that they like remembering. It’s the thinking of things you may never do and the doing of things you may never have thought. It’s the road ahead and the road behind. It’s the first step and the last and every one in between, because they all make up the good life. ”
— The Good Life
photo by ashley g + drew.
flames.
Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.
it will.
Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.
The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.
We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.
Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.
Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.
This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.
This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.
This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)
Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”
The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.
We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.
Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.
Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.
This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.
Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.
Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.
Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.
One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.
The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, “I only want to be your friend”, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.
We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.
Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.
Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.
This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder “what if”.
This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.
When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it.
This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.
This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that “You’re just not the one for me.” or maybe, “things were going too fast, I’m just not ready.” (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)
Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.
The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an “I told you so.”
The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.
We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.
Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.
Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart … again.
This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.
This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.
Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.
Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.
When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.
Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.
Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.
One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.
It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
joshua james.
"FM RADIO" by Joshua James
this video is from when he performed at 3rd & Lindsley in Nashville.
i do love that venue... but good lord they need a website redesign.
i should approach them about that...
sleepy bee.
this is what i've been staring at for the past three hours. i'm at the coffee shop because its the only place i seem to be productive. i've been streaming some tunes by The Acorn and trying to wireframe this entire vegan website that i'm creating. i wish it could just do itself. but i suppose anything worth doing is worth doing right, and if i can actually get this thing live after creating the CMS (content management system) that goes with it, i will be set. sorry for all of the nerdy talk. i got pretty excited after josh (my professor) showed us how the CMS works and how it pretty much makes your life a breeze when creating a site with hundreds or thousands of pages.... its just GETTING to that point.. oh my.
i'm so incredibly exhausted. i finally found myself falling asleep around 5am. i need to stop it with this rediculous sleep schedule. i allowed myself to sleep until noon... to make up for the fact i basically got NO sleep the night before. not a good idea. time and time again i know that sleeping late totally screws with my day. whatever. i'm going to whip out some of this wireframe mess, go to whole foods and get some groceries, go to the bank, get hair dye, dye my hair, go to the FAC gym, and then who knows. crap, i just forgot i have to do an entire essay quiz for tomorrow, too. bah humbug!
xo
call.
if you say you're going to call at a certain time, i expect you to call. when you don't, i'm disappointed. when i make mention of it, you get defensive. when it happens four+ nights in a row, i'm over it.
i'm over it.
it's not nagging when i bring to your attention your blatant disregard for other people's feelings. actually, i'm sick of being nice about it. YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT.
why would i kill myself to make something work from 2,300 miles away when you can't even manage to pick up the phone... or heaven forbid you text me to say goodnight.
tuesday is a busy day.
uh oh.. one of those posts. the long one probably... i finally found my way under the covers barely before 6am. i spent most of the night having an awesome conversation with an awesome new friend. win/win! pretty stoked on it, you know who you are :P i woke up pretty awake at 9am but i decided to skip holistic wellness and snooze until 11:15am. felt like a million bucks when i woke up, got all dolled up and headed to class. web 2 at 1pm and then advertising at 3. today was our first presentation. it went really well, got out of there around 6 and headed home. spent the evening lazin' around with bry and we did some laundry. then we came home and he hung out with elle while i opted to be productive and clean clean clean! i scrubbed my bathroom, cleaned my room, rearranged it a bit, hung some more photos and even made my bed after i washed all of my bedding! amazing! but now i'm thinking i may move my bed to the other side of the room and put my canopy back up, even though i only just took it down. gah! options! after all of that i took a nice hot bubble bath and i've just been poking around the internet since. acquired some amazing new typefaces that i'm excited to use. ~being nerdy here. tomorrow is going to be a day chock full of web 2 interface design as i work through the wireframes for my cms site. NOT FUN. i'll probably just go to the coffee shop once i wake up. its 3am and i'm still not sleepy. i'm amazed how i'm running on only 5 hours sleep but i'm still chuggin' along. oh well whatever. i'm going to end this here.
oh hey, heres some photos of me being vain. cool! i really really need to dye my hair this week. the red has seriously faded and my roots are something fierce... and not in a good way. hmph.
also, i've been listening to the band The Wooden Sky a lot lately. i'm loving the song "Somethings Hiding For Us In The Night"... i'd embed a video for you but i can't seem to find one online that allows embedding... so click on the link and go listen to it. good tunes for sure.
Monday, September 21, 2009
alive!
i'm still alive! i promise! school has been bogging me down like crazy whoa. friday i spent 7 hours on campus, saturday i spent 5, and today i spent 10. all in the name of a good grade! tomorrow morning i'll sit down with jeff and weigh my options. to drop flash or to not drop flash. hmmm... followed by an intense work period in web 2 (information architecture) and then serious presentations in advertising. my campaign is done and mounted, though i could push the concept a little farther and tweak it and polish it.. my brain is fried. if i have time tomorrow i may because im thinking of skipping holistic wellness at 9am haha oops!
i painted my bedside table a baby pink (its called "sweet pea") and its adorable. though it looks a little silly without my table cloth so i may try to find some old nightstands, etc, and then just paint them so i can have more color :) i'm getting crazy with my spray paint as of late. here are some photos from my iphone just for good measure.
oh, last night bryan and i hung up 5 strands of twinkle lights out back. we might add 2 more but ill show you the deck so far!
i painted my bedside table a baby pink (its called "sweet pea") and its adorable. though it looks a little silly without my table cloth so i may try to find some old nightstands, etc, and then just paint them so i can have more color :) i'm getting crazy with my spray paint as of late. here are some photos from my iphone just for good measure.
oh, last night bryan and i hung up 5 strands of twinkle lights out back. we might add 2 more but ill show you the deck so far!
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