The past day and a half has been a rough one for me. No details needed really. Well, no specific ones. Just a feeling of being unsure. I'm in my final semester of college and I'm looking out to an economy that isn't all that accepting of art degrees. That's not what has me down though. Some of my friends are securing jobs (and I'm SO proud of them!), some are moving off to grad school, some are getting married... I just feel like I'm here. Susannah asked me the other day if I ever felt like everyone else was getting it right, and believe me, I do. I feel like I'm just floating along... no real direction. Of course, I tweeted this and @bluevisitor responded with "yes-- but I have learned that there's no way THEY have it "right" for ME, just for them... so I say, enjoy your floating!! :)" It was amazing how that little sentence totally changed my day and made me feel that much better. But still, that feeling crept back in and I'm trying to not let it take over. Sometimes I get in these moods.
I talked to Mike about it a few days ago and believe me, I'm not ungrateful to be in the position that I am. I've spent the past 4 years getting a degree from an amazing school, and I've had the opportunity to intern at the magazine of my dreams with the staff of my dreams for two summers in a row. Yet still... I feel empty. I want to do something that ignites every bit of passion that I have. (Believe me, I've always wanted to work at BUST... I would greet that with open arms and a fit of excitement... I just don't know my destiny yet. And I guess that's part of the fun, right?)
Of course, my dream job from day one was to own my own independent retail store and/or a bakery that I designed last semester (remember Sweet Cheeks?!). I feel like that would bring me so much happiness... so rather than sitting here sulking, I need to get on it. There's no such thing as too much planning. Within the next few months, I hope to be designing, sewing, and selling dresses that I've made, among various other goods. I need to throw out all of my procrastination and self-doubt and put on my big girl pants... and just do it!
The good thing about this is that even though I can't wait to open my own brick-and-mortar shop, I will have plenty of time to sell online and various craft fairs or independent shops while Mike and I decide where we will set up our future home.
I have a lot of goals to share with you. I see that Elsie has ignited quite the buzz around the blogosphere with her 4 Simple Goals meme and that's so exciting. I love to read what you all strive for. Mine won't be as simple... well, some will, some won't. But I keep them written in the first page of my "Little Book of Ideas" so I can always reference them. From this point on... It's go time.
I will no longer let anyone (fiend or foe) bring me down for any reason... whether intentional or not. This is my pledge to do what is right for me and me alone. To make decisions regarding my career based on where I'd like to see myself. I will compare neither my work, nor my life, to anyone else. Instead, I will congratulate those on pursuing their dreams and work tirelessly on my own.
I will no longer let anyone (fiend or foe) bring me down for any reason... whether intentional or not. This is my pledge to do what is right for me and me alone. To make decisions regarding my career based on where I'd like to see myself. I will compare neither my work, nor my life, to anyone else. Instead, I will congratulate those on pursuing their dreams and work tirelessly on my own.
Here are a few images that will hopefully inspire you!
What inspires you? What motivates you? What do you want to achieve in your lifetime? What is your dream job? I want to know it all!
xoxo
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